Wednesday, December 31, 2008

To the Year's End

Well, another year has come and gone. What an interesting one it has been. Most of this past year was quite rough, but in the end things are looking up. I am hopeful that 2009 will be a great year. Here's a recap:

The year started off shaky. Jason, the man I had been dating for nearly two years, and I were no longer together. We were still talking and working through some things however. By February, we were back together and things seemed to be better than ever.

Meanwhile, I continued taking graduate classes at ETSU, which was more of a pain than anything really. I was quite burnt out and stressed. My internship in Greeneville didn't really help my situation at all. Politics just don't agree with me and it made (makes) for a very unpleasant work experience.

By June, I couldn't take anymore. My relationship with Jason was deteriorating at a rapid rate. There were issues there that I could no longer handle. It was affecting every aspect of my life and turning me into someone I did not want to become- bitter, hateful, and extremely unhappy. In addition, finances were very tight, which was only adding to my stress level. Thus, I began looking for jobs anywhere and everywhere. I had high hopes for a couple job opportunities in Greenville, SC so I quit my job in Greeneville, TN and made plans to move a little further south. However, this plan failed after Jason and I talked and worked through some things again. So, I decided to stay put and came back to my job in Greeneville, TN a few short weeks later.

By late July, I knew I needed to move closer to work. The commute was horrible and gas prices hovering around $4.00/gallon didn't help my financial situation in the slightest. After a long, frustrating search, I finally found a phenomenal apartment through the help of a co-worker. I finally moved the last week of August.

August was, in general, a great month. In addition to moving, I was able to get an adorable puppy, Sally. She has been so great for me and she couldn't have come at a better time. I hadn't planned on getting a puppy quite yet. I had wanted to get moved in and settled then find one. However, when I heard about Sally and saw her, I couldn't resist. She was one of 14 puppies (2-3 litters) found on the side of the road by a co-worker. They were approximately 4 weeks old and all near death. They were all so sweet and sad looking. Sally stole my heart from the first moment as she looked so different from the rest and had been the lone puppy walking along the street when they were discovered.

A few weeks after moving, Jason and I broke up again, this time for good. Things weren't improving and my emotional and mental states were in horrible condition. I needed to move on and I think having Sally around really helped me move on all the more quickly. After the break-up, I rediscovered my passion for creativity which I had pushed aside and ignored for the last 2 years. I find that I am happier now than I have been in years, even on those harder days.

Not much really occurred between September and December. I did decide to go back to education. Working in politics for the last year has really made me realize that I cannot do this for the rest of my life. So, I have done some research and will be looking for a job to start next fall teaching math or economics. Also in the fall, I will begin working toward obtaining my teaching certificate. I am quite excited about this opportunity and kick myself for not sticking with education many years back. But, everything happens for a reason, and I may not understand it fully right now, but I will in a few years I am sure.

The year did end on a high note. I was able to go to Disney World for the first time last weekend. It was amazing! My grandparents took my family as well as my aunt and uncle's families. We had a great time (well the rest of them are still having a great time, I had to come back early because I couldn't afford to miss any more work). I can't wait to go back though.

As this year ends, I look forward to what is to come in the next. Though the past year wasn't the greatest overall, I learned a lot and for that I am greatful. I have high hopes that 2009 will be the best yet. And I look forward to bringing it in tucked quietly away in my warm bed with my wonderful puppy lying beside me. Just the way I like it.

Wednesday, December 24, 2008




Monday, December 15, 2008

Must See

I highly recommend this film.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Another good song

Icicles by Patty Griffin

I sing soft and low
Just like the moon
Over the snow
I hear icicles falling in the dark

We're just like anyone else
We just want a little bit
Of sun for ourselves
And a little bit of rain
To make it all grow
Maybe a minute or two
To get lost in the glow of love

There's always someone throwing matches around
Waving the shiny new knife
The first to run when the house burns down
I've seen it everyday of my life
I must confess there appears to be
Way more darkness than light
I want to fall like a pearl
To the bottom of the sea
There no one will find us tonight

It might look pretty bad
We might lose everything
We thought that we had
But shadows will pass
Smoke, it will clear
If something survives of us around here
I'll be glad 'cause I know
I was lost in the glow
Of love

Sappy...very sappy

I am in a very sappy mood today and songs like this really seem to sum up my thoughts from the last few days. I have been listening to Pandora Radio and have the Gillian Welch station going at the present time. I dont think it is helping my current state of mind in the slightest. Probably only nurturing it actually.

I truly dont know why I am like this right now. I am completely fine with being single. But something has come over me lately which causes me to dream/yearn for a mate. I really just dont understand it at all. And it is driving me insane!

Which Will by Lucinda Williams

Which will you go for which will you love
Which will you choose from, from the stars above
Which will you answer which will you call
Which will you take for for your one and all
Tell me now which will you love the best

Which do you dance for which makes you shine
Which will you choose now if you won't choose mine
Which will you hope for which can it be
Which will you take now if you won't take me
Tell me now which will you love the best

Tuesday, December 02, 2008

Amazing Raffle!

Wow, would you like to have the great opportunity to win a HUGE prize package and help out 3 wonderful organizations in the process? Well, you can. Simply click the link at the top of my page or go to MckMama's blog to enter.

A $10 donation will purchase one raffle ticket and enter you into the drawing for the package containing a 12.2 Megapixel black Digital SLR Camera, a Canon 75-300mm zoom lens, a Jill.E camera bag, an ATP ProMax 2 GB SD card, a custom-made, adjustable camera strap from VM Jess, a 16 x 20 canvas print from iPrintCanvas and a complete blog makeover from Uptown Design Studio.


And each $10 donation you make puts YOUR name into the drawing. How amazing is that???? You get a chance for a great prize package and you help out some deserving organizations in the process.

All proceeds go to help: String of Pearls, No Hands But Ours, and The Elison Project.

You can find out more information by clicking on the link at the top of my blog.

Please do all you can to help these organizations.

Note: The raffle ends Dec. 14

Monday, December 01, 2008

The Marriage.

"We're so arrogant, aren't we? So afraid of age, we do everything we can to prevent it. We don't realize what a privilege it is to grow old with someone. Someone who doesn't drive you to commit murder or doesn't humiliate you beyond repair." - P.S. I Love You

I watched P.S. I Love You last night and this quote really stuck with me. It sums up exactly what I desire to see in my life. I want to grow old with someone. Someone who I enjoy being around even after many years. But really, I believe it is just a great thought and so well put. It saddens me how few people truly care if they spend the rest of their life with their mate. The word marriage has lost so much of its value. The vows one takes on their wedding day are so frequently said in vain. People don't truly mean 'for better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health'. What so many seem to really be saying is 'as long as I get my way and as long as I am happy', 'as long as you can buy me everything I want and entirely more than I need', and' maybe in sickness and in health but it depends. I can only handle so much you know'. Maybe it isn't that extreme and maybe most people don't go into the marriage thinking they will end up divorced. But I think many, way too many, go in to a marriage much less committed to the other individual than they should be.

This is not something I want for my life. I come from a broken home because at some point in my parent's marriage, my father decided that he no longer agreed with the vows he took. He was no longer interested in 'for better or worse'. He was only interested in 'as long as I get my way and as long as I am happy'. He was and is very selfish. And his selfishness led to the demise of thier marriage.

I hope that when I get married it will be for the rest of my life. I hope that I can grow old with that man. That I can love him through everything, through good times and bad. I hope that the first thing I want to do every morning is roll over and see his face. I hope that I can fall in love with him all over every day. I hope that he desires the same. I hope that he values the marriage and the vows we took. I hope that he values my committment to him and seeks to return the same.

I know this is all a bit sappy but it is something I fear has been lost with my generation. I am not niave. I know that marriage is not easy. I know that there are hard times beyond belief. But I also know that a happy, committed marriage is not impossible. Many have succeeded at marriage. My grandparents for one have been married for nearly 51 years. And are still very happy. What makes is possible is selflessness. What makes it possible is communication. What makes it possible is love. What makes it possilbe is committment not only to the other person but to oneself. What makes it possible is compromise. What makes it possible is work and diligence.

This is my deisre. I hope I realize it. And I hope that if you too desire this, that it will be realized.

Are these sacred anymore?